This last year has been a whirlwind. Most days have felt like an uphill battle, and who likes feeling like you’re not in control of your own life? Not me! I’ve been fortunate. Don’t get me wrong. I married my best friend in October 2017, and we’ve traveled to Bali, Barcelona, Los Angeles, and more since then. I’ve had happy days, but I also lost my uncle, grandfather, and dad all over the last year. So, I’m not going to act like it’s been rainbows and butterflies.

Some days, I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. It felt like too much work to get dressed and put on makeup. How could I act like everything was normal when everything was so different? I’d felt so motivated before, but after a year of taking care of others, I’d forgotten how to take care of myself. I made excuse after excuse to put off work on this website. The hard truth though was that I wasted my time and my talents by wallowing. I knew that my family, especially my dad, would want me to pursue my passion. Whatever that might be. I finally decided I had to make some changes if I was going to be the best version of myself, so here I am telling you not to make the same mistakes that I did. Do the damn thing (and try to have a little fun while you’re at it!)

Here’s what I had to do to get back on track:

Stop giving in to your bad habits.

First things first, kick those bad habits to the curb. Stop drinking that extra glass of wine while binge watching Netflix each night. Stop skipping the gym because it’s raining outside. Just stop. You know what you’re doing, and it’s called being passive.Passive rest has very few benefits, and by ignoring your commitments, you’re only making yourself feel worse.

Resource: The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins gives some excellent advice on this topic, and the author’s suggested techniques will empower you in a variety of situations from getting out of bed on time to quitting your job.

Create a routine that makes YOU happy.

My biggest downfall was losing track of my routine over this last year. I had no foundation. As a result, the tough days were ten times tougher, because I couldn’t keep up with the most basic elements of self-care. (I was skipping breakfast/lunch regularly and sleeping only 4 hours a night!) Don’t let this happen to you. Activity: Write the damn thing you want to accomplish. What’s your goal? Now, list out 3-5 items are easy to incorporate into your routine and help you reach that greater goal, but make sure they’re things that also make you happy. You won’t stick to it if you’re only listing what you should do and not what you really want to do. Spending time each day on these activities will help keep your momentum and confidence. Here’s what mine looked like. Download your FREE WORKSHEET below, fill it out, and post it up somewhere to serve as a reminder of your commitments.
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Learn to say no, and don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions.

Making decisions for yourself can be challenging. For most of us, it means feeling a little selfish, but we shouldn’t hold ourselves to any other standard than our own. There’s power in saying no, and there’s power in standing up for what you feel you deserve. Tell your friend you’re not going to that event. Ask for a raise. Break up with the guy or girl that isn’t treating you right. Ask to work remotely. Hell, quit your job if you’re not happy. This is your life, and you deserve to feel happy with the decisions you’re making. Resource: You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero is a great book to keep you motivated. I have it on Audible, and listen to chapters as needed. Give it a try!

Lean on and appreciate your support system.

This one’s important. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT forget about the support system you already have. When you’re going through a hard time or taking the plunge into new unchartered territories, lean on the people that have been your ride or dies since day one. Don’t forget about them. Make time for them, love on them, and support them in their goals too. When we’re stressed, we tend to take out our frustrations or neglect on those we love the most. Listen to my advice here, and don’t do this. It’ll be better for your friends, your marriage, your relationship, your co-workers, and everyone else that could be subject to your grumpiness each day.

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Do the damn thing (but have fun doing it!)

Now that you’ve taken steps toward everything I’ve listed above, get out and do the damn thing! For me, this meant finally starting this website. It meant nervously asking my manager if I could work remotely and putting in a down payment on a loft in Atlanta. Who’s going to believe in yourself unless you do? Like Maya Angelou said, “nothing will work unless you do.”
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